THE DATING GAME

"The problem is all inside your head, she said to me The answer is easy if you take it logically I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be fifty ways to leave your lover She said it's really not my habit to intrude Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude There must be fifty ways to leave your lover Fifty ways to leave your lover" ~~Paul Simon~~

I know that's not exactly a Valentine's (If I hear one of my cousins say Valen-times one more time I will scream) Day song for you romantically inclined, but it's the best one I could think of under the circumstances.

See it's like this: While eating out with the lovely Mrs. Field, earlier,--- in a restaurant where I had to pay half the cost of the Stimulus Package for the damn entree---I had a very interesting and chilly discussion prompted by me making the serious mistake of ordering first. Mrs. Field said that if we were still dating that would have probably been a second date killer. "Field, never ever ever order before your date, it's selfish and impolite. I thought you knew that." Actually I did know that, but being married too long can make you lazy.

Anywhooo, Mrs. Field went into a long litany of things that can be a second date killer for black women. It might not have been fifty ( I will give you twenty), and it's not ways to lose your lover, it's ways that your lover will lose you. My melanin challenged friends, please hang with me on this one, these do's and don'ts primarily apply to the brothers and sisters among us, although I suspect that some of them might be universal. So here are some of the rules outlined by Mrs. Field (she swears that they are sister universal) for you brothers who want to make a love connection.

1. Do not expect your date to pay a dime on your first five dates. After five, the conventional wisdom is that you will know each other well enough for her to offer to pick up a tip, pay the cab fare, or the cost of two movie tickets. And make sure you know what type of food she likes before you make those reservations. Might not be cool to take her to a sea food restaurant if she is allergic to sea food.

2. Do make sure you tell her the type of date it is so that she won't be over or under dressed. If she asks you what you are wearing, be honest. Don't say just some jeans and a nice shirt and show up in a three button suit.

3. Do not flirt with the waitress. I don't care if she is a dead ringer for Nia Long with a Toni Braxton body. Look away my brothers, look away.

4. Do leave a nice tip. (On the East Coast that's 20 to 25%) women hate small tippers.

5. Do not order before her. ( This is the one that started this discussion)

6. Listen listen listen. Talk about yourself only if she asks.

7. Turn your cell phone off before you pull up to her door. And if it's on and it happens to ring, YOU MUST ANSWER IT. Once you answer it, make sure to keep the conversation very short.

8. Do not go to a restaurant where you are well known, or where you have been with other dates. The hostess mistaking your date for the last one is not cool.

9. Do not go to a fast food restaurant on your first date. Now I know this one seems a bit obvious but some of you brothers are a trip. Believe me, it needs to be said.

10. If the *usher (host,hostess, Maitre De. *"Lyrical Soul" caught me slipping with the church reference) seats you close to the kitchen ask for another seat, even if you have to wait a little longer. Trust me on this one.

11. On your first date, remember, only a hug goodnight. No more. Brothers, I know it can be hard sometimes, but believe me, if your date went well, there will be lots more to come later. A sister knows the moment she lays eyes on you if she is going to give you some. It might take awhile, or not so long, but if she is going to give you some only you can ruin it for yourself.

12. No flowers on the first date. In fact, no flowers on the second or third date, unless, of course, she tells you that she really loves flowers. Or unless your date happens to fall on Valentines Day or her birthday.

13. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but I will. Make sure she is inside her house before you drive off.

14. Call her the next day to make sure she is alright and is not suffering from major food poisoning from the sword fish she ate at the fancy sea food restaurant you took her to.

15. Oh, and speaking of fancy restaurants, please at least have a clue about what is fancy and what is not. Do not tell her that you are taking her to this really fancy place in town and pull up at "Red Lobster". Your ears will be ringing for a long time from girlfriend talking about you to her friends.

16. Make sure your grooming is tight. Your nails should be clean, just enough cologne, (not too much like some of my Af... never mind, just don't over do it with the cologne.) and an outfit that you really feel comfortable in.

17. Now this next one is tricky: The car door dilemma. Do you or do you not open her car door? I could do an entire post on this one. As a rule, you should probably hop around and get her door on your first couple of dates. Quite a few women will just get it themselves, and not be offended. Some , on the other hand, will expect you to get the door, and will be offended if you don't. This is one of those deals where you will just have to get a feel for your subject. Now in inclement weather you ALWAYS get the door. And if you are approaching the car from her side you ALWAYS get the door as well.

18. Don't take your date to a play unless you know that she likes plays. Don't take her to an art gallery unless she tells you that she loves to go to art galleries. And don't take her to an NBA game unless she tells you that she just loves basketball. And even then, you should probably wait until you are deeper into your relationship before you take her to see AI at the Wachovia Center.

19. Do not improvise on the first couple of dates, if you tell her it's dinner and a movie, make sure it's dinner and a movie. Not dinner, a movie, and stop by my boy Pookie's house for a card game. That's not cool.

20. Finally, and I know that this is hard for you colored folks. But be on time! If you tell her you are picking her up at 7:00PM, pick her up at 7:00PM. If you have to wait on her that's fine, just make sure that your ass is on time. Did I mention listen listen listen?

Now follow these simple rules my brothers and next Valentine's Day you will be sending the field a thank you card. Or, better yet, a wedding invitation. :)

Posted by wealthysingle.net

9 of the most interesting dating sites in the world!

1. Till-Death-Do-Us-Part.com: Online dating for terminally ill people
I believe this site is on the up and up, but I don’t think they beta tested it with many or if any members. The site just launched on Valentine’s Day and as of today there’s a whopping 15 male members and 11 female members. The service sounds like it serves a needed niche, but maybe we should be happy that it remains unsuccessful.

2.Wealthysingle.net --Online dating site only for beautiful or wealthy singles! This site is very popular because beautiful singles want to find a wealthy guy, wealthy guys want to find a beautiful guy.

3. Women Behind Bars: Snail mail correspondence with locked up ladiesVery low tech site where you pay a small fee to get the snail mail address of a woman in prison. If you’re interested in this you should definitely read the FAQ. The site owners don’t know what these women are in for but they do warn you that any correspondence will inevitably result in requests for you to send money.

4. Trek Passions: Dating for Star Trek fans

Ladies, this is what you’ve been looking for. A chance to spend an entire evening discussing who was the best Star Trek captain and if the original Star Trek “Tribble” episode really was the best episode ever. I guess there are a lot of people really into Star Trek. I’m still looking for “Mr. Belvedere Passions.”


5. Scientific Match: Matching singles through DNA
You think eHarmony’s psychological profiles will really find you the perfect match? Not a chance. What you need is actual science. This site matches couples by their DNA and it only costs $995 for a lifetime membership. That sounds like torture. A lifetime of first dates with people chemically disposed to mate with you.

6. 420 Dating: Dating site for marijuana smokers

Dude…Check this out. You ever go out on a date and think…no, wait…seriously dude. Stop laughing. I’m about to say something really profound here…Listen…Wouldn’t it be great if…I’m serious, stop laughing…Wouldn’t it be awesome if all the women you met smoked pot?…Think about it…I’m not being funny, man. Seriously…Think about it.

7. AgeMatch.com: Online dating for intergenerational dating

Are you an older man looking for a younger girl? Or maybe you’re a young woman looking to date someone that looks like her dad. Either way, while everyone snickers (”dirty old man”) or talks behind your back (”she’s only after his money”), you can find that perfect mate that fits all the wrinkles or firmness you desire.

8. Geek 2 Geek: Online dating for geeks

If you’re questioning whether geeks make good mates, read this site’s rationale for why geeks make the best catch. My favorite “geek dating” rationale is their lack of experience. According to the site, the socially successful have become too confident to be intimate. Geeks’ lack of past romantic success allows them to approach lovers with the zest of a neophyte.


9.PositiveSingles.com: Online dating for people with STDs
If you’ve got an STD (sexually transmitted disease), then in the back of your mind you’re always wondering if the person you meet is cool with it, and when would be a good time to bring up “the issue.” Hopefully you do it before you actually have sex. On this site there’s no worrying because you’ll know before your first date. Got herpes? Everyone on this site has an STD. Now you have something to talk about on your first date. “When did you have your first break out?”

Too Many Choices May Be Bad?

According to some newly published research out of Taiwan, it may be.

Marketing from online dating sites often suggests that having more choices is most beneficial, because you have more options from which to choose. But what they don’t say is that the more options you have, the more work you have to do to find profiles that actually match what you’re looking for. Larger doesn’t always mean better.

The participants were 128 youths and adults from southern Taiwan (69 men, 59 women; ages 18 to 36 years) who had membership in online-dating Web sites, as determined on a screening questionnaire. Participants were assigned to view one of three profile groups — large (90 profiles), moderate (60 profiles), or small (30 profiles).

The study found that subjects in the large option group did more searching. Why is this necessarily a bad thing?

[L]arge consideration sets [having more profiles to search through] lead to less selective processing and reduce searchers’ ability to screen out inferior options.

From the perspective of cognitive processing, considering a large set of options may increase cognitive load, leading individuals to make mistakes.

The more our brains have to search through, the more difficult it also becomes to ignore irrelevant information. A person is also more likely to be distracted (or attracted to) attributes that were not initially relevant or pertinent to their original search.

For instance, imagine you’re on an online dating site such as www.wealthysingle.net and seeking a wealthy guy who had college degrees, were in a certain weight and body class, and were looking to have children. As you begin to search through the thousands of men who meet those criteria, you start noticing the color of a man’s hair or his eyes, or that he went to Harvard instead of Ohio State. These distractions take you away from your original criteria and, in effect, ensure you spend a lot more time searching than you would if the dataset was much smaller to begin with.

But isn’t this just common sense? The more choices we have, the more time it takes to sort through the available choices, right?

Yes. But what’s not so obvious is that we have finite brain resources and finite time to expend in such activities. Or, as the researchers put it, “The reduction of average cognitive resources spent on each option seems to explain why worse selection will be made under more searches.” Our brains simply aren’t very good at trying to sort through dozens or hundreds of possible choices, each with dozens or even hundreds of relevant attributes.

The findings are not very robust at the moment, however, as the study was conducted in Taiwan on only 128 individuals, so they may not translate to other cultures and the way they approach online dating.

The findings will likely ring true to many who have spent a lot of time on the popular online dating websites. While browsing through a million profiles may sound like heaven to some initially, it’s possible that it’ll result in making poorer choices than if you had a much smaller number of profiles to search through in the first place.

Wealthy Dating Sites – Where to Find them?

Simply doing an online search for wealthy dating sites is one way to get started, but there are other more useful techniques as well. One way to find the best wealthy dating sites is to ask friends, family members and others in your social circle for advice. Much of the stigma once associated with online dating is now gone, and many people from all walks of life have successfully used online dating sites, both wealthy dating sites and more traditional online meeting places. Chances are someone you know has experience with online dating, and he or she may be able to point you to some promising wealthy dating sites.

Online friends and associates may also be able to help you find the best wealthy dating sites. If you are a member of one of the social networking sites you may want to ask around for some wealthy dating sites. Chances are someone in your online circle of friends has some experience with wealthy dating sites, and one of those friends may be able to provide some great advice.

Posted by http://www.wealthysingle.net

Which site to join to find a millionaire?

http//www.Wealthysingle.net is a nice online dating service for men and women looking to step up their dating experience. Even though, a majority of men on this dating website are not millionaires yet, however they have the potential to become millionaires very quickly.

Wealthysingle.net has an earning guideline of $150K or over. I have to say that the caliber of these men are pretty impressive and would be worth a browse. The main thing about Wealthysingle.net is that they have a member verification system. The Wealthysingle.net Verification System verifies and approves the income of users, so that there will not be any surprises after the love connection.

According to the website, a verified millionaire must earn $150,000 in the previous year or have already earned $150,000 in the current year or have more than $1,000,000 net assets(after deducting all liabilities). After becoming a verified millionaire(they call it certified millionaire), users will have more privileges to be listed on top of search results, and get a better customer service. The Certified Millionaire Logo will help users differentiate the real millionaires and non-verified millionaires.

Recently, Wealthysingle.net has launched a new verification system: Photo Verification. With a verified photo, users will get over 10 times more viewes and contacts since the whole profile is more credible and serious. Wealthysingle.net also set a privileges to list the profiles with verified photos. It help their member pick the more credible member first.

As a leading dating site for millionaire singles, Wealthysingle.net features: #1 All the men on this kind of site are well-off financially. In other words, your bank account gives you NO advantage over your competition. #2 All the woman on this kind of dating site are pretty and attractive. In other words, your beauty gives you No advantage over your competitors. #3 All the singles on this kind of dating site are CEOs, professional athletes, doctors, lawyers, investors, entrepreneurs, professional models and cheerleaders, and Hollywood celebrities, or at least, very successful in their chosen field. In other words, your success gives you NO advantage over your competition.

In the final, merely joining Wealthysingle.net may NOT get you the obvious advantages of this kind of website. There are Secrets to be learned first! Tactics and Techniques, which will place you First In Line, when every Beautiful Women decides who to meet first. So you may check their dating tips and blogs and communicate with other members after becoming their members.